On Unearthed Arcana: Waterborne Adventures, Part 2: a Class of Ribbons

I think I could really get into reading articles like Unearthed Arcana: Waterborne Adventures regularly. The article itself is short, the linked content is interesting, and it gives me some insight into the minds of the developers. If articles in the series weren’t so frustratingly difficult to find, especially with articles about an unrelated Unearthed Arcana filling the search results, I’d be all over it.

One of the reasons for that is the possibility of finding an absolute gem, the sort of new feature that single-handedly makes me want to play whatever race or class or background grants it. Last time I talked about the Krynnotaur, where almost everything it offers not only convinces me not to play the class but also suggests it has no place in any campaign I run. The class features in the second half of the preview are the exact opposite.

The first is a new fighting style for fighters, paladins, and rangers, which I do not feel bad reproducing wholesale because it is a free preview and formatting it for posting was annoying enough that I deserve some reward:

As long as you are not wearing heavy armor or using a shield, you have a swimming speed and a climbing speed equal to your normal speed, and you gain a +1 bonus to AC.

The designer sidebar is very clear that this is for characters on boats who need to climb rigging and occasionally get thrown into the water. But this style opens a slew of new character options. It’s the first mobility enhancement I’ve seen for the fighter or paladin at all, and it makes a fighter or paladin in light armor more viable by giving them a unique way to interact with the world. This isn’t just for a cutlass-and-dagger pirate, this is also for a defender of nature, a feral youth, a hearty explorer, or any number of builds.

The swashbuckler is rogue-only so its application is less broad, but it’s still interesting. Its key ability is supposed to be Fancy Footwork, where the rogue doesn’t provoke opportunity attacks from creatures she attacks in melee. The sidebar attests that this is intended for dual-wielding characters who attack two enemies and run away. I didn’t even consider that application, perhaps because I’m loathe to split damage when I could be killing one enemy extra hard. I wanted this for its combination with the next ability:

As an action, you can make a Charisma (Persuasion) check contested by a creature’s Wisdom (Insight) check…If you succeed on the check and the creature is hostile, it must target you with any attacks it makes and cannot willingly move farther away from you. This effect lasts for 1 minute or until you move more than 60 feet away from the target.

This is a tanking rogue. The point of this combination of features is to mock an enemy and skedaddle, forcing the enemy to focus on the rogue while he or she takes potshots and continues running. It’s a kiting build, for those versed in MMO terminology. Rogues have a reputation for being moderately squishy damage dispensers who need a tank to absorb hits for them. This turns that on its head, and suddenly the idea of a shield rogue evasion-tanking doesn’t seem too farfetched. And again, this is not a feature that must be used on a boat.

The storm sorcerer helps solves the main problem I have with sorcerers, that they’re all either crazy or dragons. Such is the problem with only being able to fit two archetypes for the class into the Core book (while wizards got eight, because of course everybody wants to be an abjurer, but I digress). The thing about the storm sorcerer that got me excited was the 6th-level ability, Storm Guide:

If it is raining, you can use an action to cause the rain to stop falling in a 20‐foot radius centered on you. You can end this effect as a bonus action. If it is windy, you can use a bonus action each round to choose the direction that the wind blows in a 100‐foot radius around you. The wind blows in that direction until the end of your next turn. You have no ability to alter the speed of the wind.

I want this ability so much. I could use it for a character who’s too prissy to let the rain mar their perfect hair, or a character who always wants the wind going in a certain direction so their cape blows dramatically, or a character who plays pranks on enemies by blowing papers out of their hands, and so on. It’s even useful in battle in limited applications; as I DM I can definitely see this sorcerer in a battle on a windy cliff, turning the wind in different directions to give allies advantage and enemies disadvantage on rolls to avoid falling over.

But what got to me about this was the sidebar:

On the R&D team, any ability meant to convey flavor rather than a mechanical advantage is referred to as a ribbon—a thing that’s mostly for show. Thieves’ Cant is a great example of a ribbon ability, and Storm Guide also falls into this category.

We don’t weigh ribbons when balancing one class or option against another. For example, Heart of the Storm carries the power load at 6th level for the storm sorcerer, while Storm Guide is here only to show how these sorcerers can excel as sailors. It isn’t meant to help in combat, but it’s potentially very useful in maneuvering a ship.

Heart of the Storm is an ability that says “when you cast a non-cantrip lightning or thunder spell, deal half your class level in lightning or thunder damage to enemies within ten feet.” Or, as I read it, “whenever you’re using one of your limited-use powers, deal an almost-ignorable amount of damage to enemies close enough to attack you in retaliation. Oh, and it restricts you to certain damage types, and thus to certain spells, so if you want to use this feature you accept lower spell utility. Oh, and it makes stealth difficult if not impossible.” The feature also grants resistant to lighting and thunder, but beyond that I’m not even interested.

What I want is more ribbons. The “power load” feature just increases damage. If your primary focus as a character is damage, great job. If not, Heart of the Storm is forgettable and restrictive. But the fluff ability, Storm Guide, gives me character ideas, lends itself to set-piece battles, and doesn’t even contribute to the class’ power balance. I want a class of ribbons, please (so I guess I want a dancer from Final Fantasy Tactics…which, actually, I’d be thrilled to play at the table).

There’s a theme running across which features I do and do not like. If you’ve figured it out, have a cookie. If not, I’ll go into more detail next post.

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