I’ve received a startling number of requests for this.
There are some actions a player can take during a D&D session that cause me to roll on a DM Wrath list. Most often, I roll because a player (or DM) has made a sufficiently bad pun, but it’s generally for whenever somebody has irritated me in a comedic way. The only wraths that are permanent are the ones that are funny, and every once in a while I change up the list to keep it fresh.
The original list is here, but here’s the one I’m currently using:
1 – You develop a phobia of the DM’s choice.
2 – You may only speak in song titles.
3 – You are convinced that a powerful magician is out to get you personally.
4 – You start each day covered in moss.
5 – Your heartbeat is audible to everybody within ten yards.
6 – You think you’ve had geas/quest cast on you by a high-level cleric.
7 – A pool of lava opens beneath you.
8 – Your weapon develops your personality.
9 – You think you are from the distant future.
10 – Your arms become tree branches.
11 – You think you can communicate with inanimate objects.
12 – You insist your name is something else.
13 – You believe everything is a CCG.
14 – You are followed by four skeletons with no combat ability.
15 – You become convinced that you invented magic.
16 – You are convinced that you’re a monstrous race (roll randomly)
17 – You only speak one random language.
18 – Your skin turns matte black.
19 – You become monosyllabic.
20 – Your tongue leaps from your mouth and scurries away.
21 – You believe that you are 5 feet taller than you are and behave accordingly.
22 – You perceive all art to portray only horrifying images.
23 – Gender switch. This is permanent and can only be undone by limited wish, wish, miracle, or another DM Wrath.
24 – You think the last d20 days were just a dream.
25 – You become magnetized.
26 – You can only walk backwards (can still fight forwards, just can’t advance forwards).
27 – Your tongue becomes twelve inches longer.
28 – You may no longer use the letter E.
29 – Shadows make obscene gestures at you.
30 – You forget everything since yesterday morning.
31 – You become cloned.
32 – You act like the campaign is a first-person shooter.
33 – You cannot touch anything of a certain color without unbearable pain.
34 – You sing in your sleep.
35 – Your nose floats six inches in front of your face.
36 – You have a wooden cat that you carry with you wherever you go and talk to it as if it were your best friend. You must narrate everything that happens to it.
37 – You become obsessed with cell phone reception in your adventuring locations.
38 – You are covered in whipped cream.
39 – Your touch robs objects of color.
40 – You become surrounded by a swarm of hornets.
41 – You think you are an iron golem.
42 – You are suddenly hated by townspeople.
43 – You can only talk in shrieks.
44 – You become tarred and feathered.
45 – You are invisible, but only when you speak.
46 – Every stick you find you must point north.
47 – You think you were recently murdered.
48 – Your shadow falls in the opposite direction.
49 – You talk in 3rd person.
50 – You fill with straw rather than blood, organs, or other functional parts.
51 – You feel other people consider you a coward and will go to great lengths to disprove them.
52 – You cannot remember your name.
53 – You feel ecstasy when wounded.
54 – You think you’re dead.
55 – You are terrified that your mother will find out what you’re doing, regardless of what it is.
56 – You are reduced to half Strength when in sunlight.
57 – You think cowardice and stupidity are virtues.
58 – You have chronic incandescence for one week.
59 – You become invisible and silenced, but only to yourself.
60 – You think you are a mind flayer.
61 – Half of your body is slowed.
62 – You think you are immune to a random energy type.
63 – You realize you haven’t slept in three weeks.
64 – You become bored stiff with the passage of time.
65 – A giant, translucent hand appears nearby and gestures whenever you speak.
66 – You believe a random deity to be a party member.
67 – You teleport one mile; stone replica appears in your place.
68 – You must be within thirty feet of a life-size iron statue of you, which suddenly appears, at all times.
69 – You become nocturnal.
70 – You weigh two hundred pounds more than usual, and your body changes accordingly.
71 – You must enforce happiness.
72 – Everything that anyone says to you counts as the spell suggestion (Will DC 13).
73 – All metal becomes toxic to you.
74 – Your hair turns to ice.
75 – You think that your body will rust if it gets wet.
76 – You ignite.
77 – You have the voice of a young child.
78 – You cannot leave a room when observed.
79 – Your hair and eye colors change with the color of the sky.
80 – You gain a remarkably quick temper.
81 – Your alignment changes randomly each hour.
82 – Everybody within ten miles forgets your name.
83 – You teleport whenever you hear or speak your name.
84 – Your eyes merge like a Cyclops’.
85 – Your face becomes an emoticon.
86 – Every time you answer a question, you must begin with “Back in my day…”
87 – You believe animals are out to get you.
88 – You think your weapon is cursed.
89 – You become convinced that an artifact is buried somewhere nearby.
90 – You may not speak when another person is within sixty feet.
91 – Your voice makes people want to be elsewhere.
92 – You and one or more friends switch bodies.
93 – You begin remembering things that never happened.
94 – You refuse to admit that anything occurred before your birth.
95 – You become convinced that people aren’t taking you seriously.
96 – You must finish every sentence with the phrase “if you know what I mean.”
97 – You are convinced your enemies are immortal.
98 – You may no longer walk on your feet.
99 – You aren’t entirely sure you exist.
100 – You gain Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy.